Issue 19: Navigating The Age of Offense!

Dear Resilient Traveler,

Prayerfully you had a great week of “Waiting on the Lord.” Our feature article last week — “Are We There Yet?” — seemed to be relevant to many, me included! Certainly most of us find it difficult to be patient in all circumstances. In fact, it takes a lifetime of practice to reflexively “wait upon the Lord with patience and purpose.” May we collectively grow in this important fruit of the Spirit.

We are challenged as Christians to be salt and light. This takes many forms. While I try not to “time stamp” these newsletters to ensure they possess enduring value, I feel it is necessary to address the “elephant in the room” — namely, the current level of incivility and divisiveness in America. Too many of us, Christ followers included, walk around with a “Spirit of Offense.”

You may be familiar with a highly publicized incident on an airplane regarding a lady reclining her seat into the “personal space” of the man behind her. In response, the man began wildly punching the back of her seat. The incident has now escalated into accusations and counter-accusations, lawsuits, and national media visibility. This “mole hill turned into a mountain” dynamic is happening with greater intensity and frequency across the campuses and communities of America. It is a visible symptom of deeper issues in our culture and our civility to one another.

While I won’t dive into the many dimensions of this topic of incivility and divisiveness, I do feel compelled to address one practical resilience “reflex” to help us flee a Spirit of Offense. In short, our feature article this week will address “Navigating the Age of Offense.” I think you will find it extremely relevant, and possibly convicting.

Finally, I am grateful to the many of you who seek to share this “resilience coaching” with others. In many ways, Resilience God Style activates the reality of many Biblical promises such as “Great is He who is in us…,” or “We are more than Conquerors…,” or “There hath no temptation overtaken us…” All of these Biblical statements require more that human effort — it is simply not sufficient to run faster, jump higher, try harder. As in Zechariah 4:6, “Not by power or by might, BUT by My Spirit, saith the Lord.” This is what Resilience God Style is all about!

Have a great week!

Respectfully in Christ,

PS- As a reminder, our Resilience God Style Newsletters website page has an archive of all past RGS newsletter content for your future reference, or for you to share with others.

Gaining Altitude

What is the practical spiritual and emotional reflex
that allows us to navigate this current “Age of Offense”
and to maintain a healthy and resilient lifestyle?

Simply put, we must learn to “Flee the Spirit of Offense.”

Navigating the Age of Offense!

We live in an “Age of Offense.”  While taking offense has always been part of our human DNA, today’s culture (including many of us) has placed narrowly defined personal “rights” and interests on an unprecedented pedestal. This self-interest idolatry is a destructive toxin which divides peoples and sabotages healthy and respectful relationships across a diverse set of people and ideas.  We see the impacts across our land whether it be the need for safe spaces, trigger warnings, and the creation of an ever changing “microaggression” landscape. Which redefined word is offensive today? What will it be tomorrow?

What is the practical spiritual and emotional reflex that allows us to navigate this current “Age of Offense” and to maintain a healthy and resilient lifestyle?  Simply put, we must learn to “Flee the Spirit of Offense.” The Bible has a lot to say about this. Let’s dive in: 

Why “fleeing?”  My mind turns to the story of Joseph, when trapped and tempted by Potiphar’s wife.  It was not enough to politely say “No”, nor was it sufficient to simply walk away. He had to flee, even without his garments, to break the enticement of that temptation.  Or consider Lot’s wife. While fleeing from Sodom & Gomorrah, she quit “fleeing” and looked back, an act of disobedience resulting in eternal condemnation as a pillar of salt.  Hence, there are times when we should actively, aggressively, with all our might, flee temptation. As the scriptures admonish: 

But flee from these things, you man of God, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance and gentleness.“  ~ 1 Timothy 6:11

Yes, we should flee those things that disturb our fellowship with God and with our fellow man.  One of the subtle temptations we all face is to entertain a “Spirit of Offense.” Although very subtle, such a mindset certainly disrupts personal peace and collective unity.  Hence, this is a situation, an attitude, a mindset, a spirit we should flee from. First of all, what is a Spirit of Offense? How does it manifest itself?

  • James 1:19 says “Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” A Spirit of Offense is the opposite of a James 1:19 mindset:  A Spirit of Offense is quick to speak (including rumors), slow to listen (including not hearing the positive aspects about others), and quick to become angry (or offended).
  • Being “quick to take offense” often occurs

o   Without all the facts

o   On the word of a third party, or a rumor

o   On behalf of another who may not be offended at all

  • Usually accompanied by rumors and “whisperings” (gossip)

o   What dainty morsels rumors are- but they sink deep into one’s heart.” (Proverbs 18:8, NLB)

o   “They visit me as if they are my friends, but all the while they gather gossip, and when they leave, they spread it everywhere.” (Ps 41:6, NLB)

o   “Then when you call, the Lord will answer.  ‘Yes, I am here,’ he will quickly reply. “Stop oppressing the helpless and stop making false accusations and spreading vicious rumors!”

o   “Do all things without murmuring and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world.” (Philippians 2:14,15; NKJV)

o   This makes for a very illuminating topic study.  There are many more references which illumine God’s thoughts about rumor, gossip, and “whisperings.”

  • Sometimes motivated by “selfish ambition and conceit:”

o   “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;”  ~Philippians 2:3

What are the results of such a Spirit of Offense?

  • Disrupts unity, love, trust & confidence
  • Produces organizational and interpersonal tension, and “mini-crises”
  •  Saps energy, enthusiasm, and focus
  • Results in long term roots of bitterness and “emotional cutoffs”

What are some ways to remedy a Spirit of Offense?

  • Recognize that this is WAR.  Satan prowls, seeking to devour.  If he can’t nail us on the big things, he’ll try more subtle approaches.  Hence, the Armor of God (Ephesians 6) is critical for protection and sensitivity to the subtle, but pernicious Spirit of Offense.
  • A military maxim says “The first report is always wrong.”  Hence, don’t jump to conclusions.

O Develop heightened sensitivity to negative input about others…don’t just accept at face value.

O Assume the best about a brother or sister…grant a gracious “benefit of the doubt.”

  • Don’t entertain or overly empathize with grievances expressed by another that should rightly be discussed in supervisory channels. 
  • Resolve interpersonal issues scripturally
  • Exercise accountability regarding rumors and gossip.  Work hard to keep oneself in check, and lovingly remind others as appropriate.
  • Leadership makes a difference!  When leading, model a culture of grace and communication. Systemic information flow often eliminates the information vacuum in which rumors abound.
  • As Paul exhorts in Phillipians 4:8, “Fix your thoughts (attitudes) on what is true and honorable and right.  Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”  No doubt this also pertains to our words, as well as our responses to the words of others. 

No doubt many reading this can add other rationale, and provide additional scriptural underpinnings.  And… many model right behavior in this regard. As a bottom line, however, I encourage you to join me in renewed efforts to personally flee from such a Spirit of Offense in our lives.  And may we together rebuke this trick of Satan as we proclaim the name of Jesus and as we walk in the power of the Holy Spirit. May God truly bless our application of these important truths as we seek to be “doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.” (James 1:22, KJV)


“Dear Brothers and Sisters,

 Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.”

(James 1:19, NLB)

Respectfully in Christ,

So what about YOU? 

Do you agree that this is a personal and collective issue of our day?
Any life examples and lessons learned?
What “tips” were most useful to YOU?

Share with us in COMMENTS below.

Resilience Resources

Not to be self-serving, but another type of Resilience Resource is the numerous speaking events I do to inform and inspire audiences about Resilience God Style — join us if any that are in your “neighborhood,” and pray that God and His people would be lifted up. 
  • New Canaan Society (NCS) Texas Regional Retreat Brenham, TX – Feb 28-Mar 1
  • Orange County Rescue Mission Graduation Speaker Tustin, CA – March 15
  • REAL Life Videotaping, Cornerstone Network Pittsburg, PA –  March 26
  • Bethel Evangelical Free Church, Men’s Steak Fry Fairmont, MN –  March 28
To see additional events or schedule Bob visit

Bounce Builder

From the Resilience God Style Training Game

In an “Age of Offense,” it is important for resilient people to know how to both seek and grant forgiveness. Given that this is not inherent to our human nature, we must practice this. [Note to parents: Model this for children, and help your children practice this important life skill.]

Tell us by sharing in COMMENTS.

Suggested Answer: 

The best approach is to “Keep Short Accounts.” Some have said that the ten most powerful words in the human language are “I was wrong. I am sorry. Will you forgive me.” These words, spoken honestly and sincerely, are the start to reconciliation. It is important to nip offense in the bud, not allowing it to become a long-term root of bitterness.
Bonus #1: Demonstrate this process with one of your team members.

Bonus #2: How should the offended person respond? Answer: “I forgive you.” [Likewise said with sincerity, and true intent to forgive and forget.] Depending on the setting and relationship, this would be a good time to seal the transaction in prayer, also thanking God for His forgiveness of us in so many ways.
Share your wisdom in COMMENTS.

From the Mailbox

This week’s blog on PATIENCE especially resonated with me as it is something that I have always struggled with. There is great insight in this letter and I hope to be able to apply it to my life.” ~Veteran from Virginia

“Another great newsletter – I was really touched by “I challenged them to continue to serve in every way possible as priceless national treasures. You could see a new spark in many of those veteran’s eyes as they ‘REMEMBERED THEIR CALLING.’ ” ~Bill from Virginia

Bob: …again, a timely message. In my experience, WAITING on God may be the *best* way to ascertain His will, and grow my resilience and endurance. Putting the “non-essentials” behind and focusing on Him who is the Source of Resilience, is a choice I must make…sometimes often. Thanks for this post!
~Glen Aubrey, Creative Team Publishing, Texas

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